Regrets
by Talps
Summary: Ninth Doctor oneshot set immediately after the 2005 episode, 'Father's Day'. The Doctor heads into Earth's future, into events that cannot be changed, to witness the fait of the one girl he would have given everything for.


It's another shiny Doctor Who oneshot by Talps! (aka, Me!) Like the last one, this one in Ninth Doctor, but unlike the last one, this one has Rose as well! As well as a few other interesting characters to grab your interest.

This one's an idea I had knocking around for a while, probably forming some time back when I was learning some of the history of Doctor Who after becoming a fan in 2005. When the first Doctor first appeared on the television he was travelling with his Granddaughter, Susan, who he later left on Earth after she fell in love with a human while fighting daleks. It occurred to me to wonder what happened to Susan during the Time War, and this is the result. Like my last oneshot, it's less about action (though there is some in there this time).

There are a few references to the classic series ('The Dalek's Invasion of Earth', 'Planet of the Daleks', 'Genesis of the Daleks' and 'The TV Movie') though you don't have to know those stories to understand this, except that in 'Genesis of the Daleks' the Doctor was sent to the dalek's home world by the Time Lords to destroy the daleks before they existed, but he realised he couldn't commit genocide, even of the daleks, and let them survive. The production team of the new series have said that the daleks consider this to be the first strike of the Time War, which is why its relvant.

So yeah, read it, review it, and if you like it check my profile for my other Doctor Who story, 'Who Is…'

I do not own or have permission to use any part of Doctor Who fandom. (yet...)

Regrets

"_One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. Goodbye, my dear. Goodbye, Susan." - _The First Doctor, _The Daleks' Invasion of Earth_

**Following on directly from the 2005 episode, **_**Father's Day**_

The Doctor had become quiet after they boarded the TARDIS. He seemed lost in contemplation, silent, distant, as the ship drifted in the Vortex on its way to who-knew-where. Rose watched him from the other side of the Console Room, feeling as if she was intruding. It reminded her of visiting her dad's grave with her mum as a teenager, standing aside trying to remember a man she hadn't ever known.

The Doctor shifted suddenly, sucking in a long breath as if he had come to a decision about something important, but cutting it off as his mind changed quickly. He spoke, "I didn't know about those things."

Rose thought he was trying to apologise and said, "It wasn't your fault what happened, and it all sorted out."

The Doctor, however, went on as if she hadn't spoken, "I mean, I knew the Laws of Time shouldn't be broken but I didn't know what happened. Reapers were fairy stories, told to frighten children…" He trailed off and was silent for a long time. Eventually the 'vohw, vohw' of the TARDIS' engines rose in volume to announce its landing on another alien world. The Doctor didn't move from where he stood.

"Doctor?" Rose asked cautiously.

He looked up at her, an expression of almost childlike earnestness on his face, "I never went back to see how it happened. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to stop myself changing things." Suddenly he lunged at the controls, twisting knobs and pulling leavers, and the TARDIS took off again. "I know what'll happen if I interfere now," He said with conviction.

"Where are we going?" Rose asked, trying to put a note of cheer into her voice which fell flat.

The Doctor was a long time answering, "Back to Earth… 2231."

"What happened then?" Rose asked.

"Nothing history mentions. It's all been quiet on Earth for over 60 years." There was a long pause as he checked the instruments, before he announced, "Ten minutes till we arrive," And then added to himself, "All these hundreds of centuries and now ten minutes." And he lapsed once more into an impenetrable silence.

VVVVVV

"London, 2231," The Doctor announced quietly without his usual bravado as the doors swung open.

Rose looked down on a moonlit River Thames. Down river Tower Bridge still stood and Rose noticed a battered ruin in the place where Big Ben had stood in the 21st Century. There was something desolate about the city. Part of it was in ruins and there was no sign of anyone living for as far as she could see. There were boats on the river; odd-looking cars parked outside of houses, but no people, no lights in windows. London without the nightlife.

She took a step out of the TARDIS when the Doctor spoke, "Rose." She looked back. His face was uncertain. He hesitated before speaking. "Whatever happens we mustn't interfere tonight. What happens now is set in history. It's significant. We mustn't be seen by _anyone_ and we mustn't get involved."

Rose nodded. "What is it Doctor, what's going to happen?"

For a moment he seemed to hover on the edge of uncertainty and looked as if he was about to step back into the TARDIS, but then he steeled himself and stepped out of the door, locked it and strode off down the street, leaving Rose hurrying after him.

"Doctor, what's happening?"

"Shh," He hissed, not aggressively, but insistently.

The Doctor moved quickly and purposefully; Rose had a hard time keeping up with him. He strode through roads, a few Rose found familiar but most completely unknown, without hesitation or confusion. They were moving away from the ruined half of the city, but still Rose saw no people, still the windows were all dark. Rose caught up with the Doctor long enough to ask him why this was.

He seemed distant as he answered, as I his mind was a million miles away and he was speaking simply by instinct, "It's like in the second world war people kept their windows dark at nights out in the country so the German planes wouldn't see them. Now its sixty years after the war and people are still scared. They still remember. The human race will always remember."

They moved on in silence for another twenty minutes, half an hour, an hour. "Couldn't we have landed closer?" Rose asked breathlessly.

"Someone might have heard. We mustn't be heard, we mustn't be seen. Not tonight."

Finally The Doctor came to rest in the rubble of a ruined building at the end of a street. Apart from the house in which they hid, the other buildings on the road were all standing, though mismatched as if houses had been built here as people wanted them, with no real order. A couple were just bungalows and some were big enough to hold large families. The Doctor crouched down behind the remains of a wall, staring at a medium-sized house further down the street. "That's it," He breathed. "Centuries I knew it was there, and now I finally see it." The smallest flicker of a smile found its way onto his face, "She did well for herself at least. It could have been much smaller."

Rose wanted to ask who lived there, but the Doctor was in a world of his own, looking through centuries of memory, and she knew she might as well ask the wall they were hidden behind.

They crouched for what seemed like two or three hours to Rose, her legs and back aching from squatting for so long. Eventually she tried sitting down but there was no even place in the rubble to get comfortable. The Doctor was by now totally silent, barely breathing as he gazed down the street. He looked anxious. The sky had been obscured by heavy clouds now and it was cold. The Doctor didn't seem to notice. "They picked a dark night," He said to no one in particular.

Before he could muse further however a noise came echoing up the road, similar to the sound made by the TARDIS landing, yet different, like a poor simulation which might sound convincing to someone who hadn't heard a TARDIS for a long time. Rose sat up quickly, and then lifted herself up onto her feet and crawled over to take position next to the Doctor, staring out over the road. A light had come on in the upstairs window of the house the Doctor had been watching. "What was that, another TARDIS?" Rose asked nervously.

The Doctor slowly shook his head. "They must have played it to lure her out. It'd been to long, she wouldn't realise…"

Two minutes later the door of the house opened and a woman who appeared to be in her fifties stepped out of the door. She had slightly pinched-looking elfin features, dark, slightly greying hair and definite eyebrows. The Doctor stiffened sharply as she emerged from the house. Rose put a hand on his arm but he failed to react.

An elderly looking man, appearing to be in his 80s, emerged from the house a few seconds later. He limped slightly and moved slowly. He spoke to the woman and Rose could just about hear him. "Susan," He said.

"I heard it David," She replied. "He's here."

The old man looked around, "There's nothing here," He said slowly.

Rose caught sight of something that nearly made her shriek out loud. She pushed her hand over her mouth and hissed, "Doctor!" But he had already seen it. His eyes flickered between the woman outside her house and the dome-shaped shadow cast against the wall at the far end of the street where the two people wouldn't see it. "You told me they were all dead!" Rose hissed accusingly.

The Doctor's answer was rapid, "They are. These are the events of the Timewar, set in stone, unchangeable. Those daleks are dead. I made sure."

More shadows were appearing. The clouds opened for a moment and Rose caught sight of a glimmer of light reflected off the smooth domed head of the dalek.

The woman shrieked suddenly. The Doctor gripped the wall and lifted himself up so that Rose had to grab him by the arm and drag him down to stop him from being seen.

The man turned to see what had made the woman shriek. He was half-way there when there was a harsh, angry scream of "EX-TER-MIN-ATE!" and a flash of light.

The man crumpled to the ground. The woman swept down on him with a scream, "David!"

There was another flash of light and the woman collapsed over the man's body. The Doctor jerked at the same moment and Rose grasped him, fearing that he had somehow been shot as well. He did not fall however, but was staring at the scene, horror on his face but unable to look away.

Six daleks glided out of the shadows and assembled around the bodies. Five were gold, the last was black. It turned to the others and barked it its electronic, emotionless voice, "Take the Timelady to the ship. Quickly. She still has all her regenerations."

"Timelady!" Rose gasped and looked up at the Doctor. He didn't look at her. He was staring at the daleks, staring at the woman.

Two of the daleks moved to either end of the woman's body. An electric blue light surrounded her torso and she lifted off of the ground, her arms and legs hanging limp. As the six robots began moving back down the street, away from the Doctor and Rose, a blast of light shot out from a window of one of the surrounding houses and the black dalek exploded. One of the others swung round quickly and shot at the window. A man screamed. Other windows and doors were banging open. Voices were shouting, screaming, gunfire poured down on the daleks.

"Return the Timelady to the ship with one guard! We will stay here and hold off the humans," Barked an electrical voice. Three of the daleks swooped away and the remaining two began shooting at windows and doors, at people running out on the street. There were more screams, more cries. Rose suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder push her down behind the wall. She turned to see the Doctor crouching beside her. He did not look at her.

There was another explosion. Slowly the noise of shooting and screaming began to die down. The Doctor kept his hand on her shoulder until it had stopped completely. Then she dared to lift herself up and looked out over the wall.

There were two smoking husks; all that remained of two of the daleks. There was no sign of the third. People were spilling out onto the road, checking bodies, some sobbing, some still screaming. She head scraps of conversation, "Daleks? Here? Another invasion?"

She looked to her side to see the Doctor but he wasn't there. She looked down and saw him sitting in the rubble, his head in his hands, crying. She knelt down and put her arms around him. "Doctor…"

He spoke, his voice muffled, "I came too late. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't save her."

Rose half pushed herself up, looking over the wall, thinking of calling for help. She half lifted herself to her feet when one of the men in the crown drew her attention. He had a lot of curly ginger-brown hair falling around his shoulders, and was dressed in an old-fashioned (even by Rose's point of view) black velvet coat, and a white shirt and silver waistcoat. He looked scruffy, as if he had just run a marathon and hadn't changed his clothes. He was standing in the woman's garden, over the body of the old man, looking thunderstruck. His head rose slowly and for an instant his eyes met with Roses'. For a moment it was if she was looking into the Doctor's face. There was a glimmer of understanding. And then he turned and ran in the direction the daleks had gone. A few minutes later a ship rose up above the houses, far away. There were shouts and yells from the people who all watched it, following its progress until it disappeared into the clouds.

Rose felt a crushing weight of despair, though she did not know why. With laboured movements she reached down and took the Doctor by the arm and pulled him to his feet. He rose slowly.

With him resting on her for support, they returned to the TARDIS. Rose did not know how long the journey took, for Time seemed distant and irrelevant, but the eastern horizon was beginning to glow when they finally reached the blue box at the riverside. She let the Doctor go as she fumbled for her TARDIS key and he moved away, stumbled down the bank to the river. He seemed to be looking at something on a wall down there. She heard him speak, "It's still there," He said softly, and then returned. She opened the TARDIS doors and he entered, went to the controls and programmed the coordinates.

"Where are we going?" Rose asked.

"Somewhere far away."

"Doctor?" Rose asked. He made no sign to suggest he had heard. The TARDIS engines whirred into life and for a long time it was too loud for her to speak without raising her voice, and Rose felt as if she could never speak loudly again.

When the noise faded she asked her question, "Who was that woman? Doctor?"

He did not look at her, but smiled, remembering. Distant. "The child I gave it all for." He replied.

VVVVVV

The eighth incarnation of the Doctor pursued a dalek ship from Earth 2231 across Time and Space, to the beginning and end of time and the opposite ends of the universe. They tried to escape his pursuit, but he was not shaken off, and he blocked their paths to stop them returning to the safety of the Dalek Fleets.

After four weeks of travelling he crashed his TARDIS into the control deck of the dalek ship over the planet Spiridon, throwing himself off of his feet and damaging the TARDIS's controls irrevocably. The daleks' ship was crippled, the daleks killed, and the two ships pinned together crashed onto the ruins of the daleks' ancient base on the planet.

Many millennia had passed since the daleks were defeated on Spiridon, and what had once been a living jungle surrounding the base was now a lifeless desert. The Doctor left the TARDIS and entered the daleks' ship. He clambered through the wreckage and over the broken husks of the daleks until he came across a young woman, barely alive; her face was unfamiliar but he knew who she was immediately. "Susan," He whispered and knelt down over her.

She smiled weakly, "Grandfather… You came."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry; I was too late. Come on, let's get away from here."

She shook her head as the Doctor moved to lift her, "I'm dying. This is my last regeneration. The daleks tortured me…"

He looked at her with helpless eyes. "Come to the TARDIS. There's equipment there that will let me transfer my regenerations into you." Some small part of his mind told him it was useless; his TARDIS had no power from the crash, and Susan had only minutes to live. Her wounds were terrible, her body crushed and bloody. But he could not accept that inevitability. His Granddaughter, for whom he left his home on Gallifrey, his Granddaughter, for whom he would give his lives. She couldn't die, not now, not by the daleks.

She looked up at him with cloudy eyes and whispered, "Keep fighting Grandfather, please, for what is right."

Right? A part of him wanted to scream, what is right? Was it right of him to protect the lives of the daleks when he had been sent to destroy them, to spare their lives and leave them to kill the Time Lords, to destroy everything he loved? Or would he have been right to commit genocide, to wipe them from the universe before they had even learnt to fly?

"I always will," He whispered, "I do it for you."

She smiled for the last time, and then her eyes closed and the muscles of her face relaxed. He bent down and kissed her forehead.

He thought of returning her to Gallifrey, but that planet had never been home for Susan. Instead he dug her grave there on Spiridon, and mourned her there, alone, staying for many days, away from the war, away from the death and the fear. His granddaughter, his fellow warrior, his companion. The child for whom he would have given it all.

* * *

Review and tell me what you thought.

I'd love for there to be other Time Lords still alive somewhere, and I'd love it even more if one of them was Susan! (And Carole Ann Ford, the actress who played her, is still around, so you never know...) but I wanted to sort of lay this out, to show the extent of the Doctor's sorrow: he knows he's alone and he knows his friends and family are all gone. Plus I wanted to show the daleks actively hunting stray Time Lords during the Time War.

Anyway, let me know what you think, read my other story, unlimited rice pudding, et cetera, et cetera.


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